January 20, 2009
Walking by Faith in the New Year
By Rachael Carman
Who would have thought? Thirteen years ago we pulled our first child out of what was thought to be the best public elementary school in our district. We kept telling everyone it was just for a year — surely we couldn't mess up kindergarten. That seemed to put everyone at ease and, frankly, bought us some time to get him into a real school. I mean homeschool was just playing around, not a real option. It wasn't for me, not for us. No, that was for other people — organized people, patient people. Surely it wasn't me.
Just coming off the Christmas season, I am reminded of ominous beginnings. Who would have written the script of Jesus' life the way God did? Who would have chosen such young and inexperienced parents? Who would have required them to face so many challenges so far from home? Who would have required them to show so much faith and trust in Him and in each other? Who would have thought Mary and Joseph were prepared or educated enough for the task ahead? Who would have considered them strong enough, wise enough, or good enough?
And yet, that was God's plan. We all know the story. As it turned out, what mattered more than anything else (more than their IQs, their position, their address, their age, or their profession) was their obedience. That's it. God honored their willingness to trust and obey. God smiled on Mary's heart-felt response, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38). She displayed such simple humility, such childlike trust, such pure devotion, such amazing grace.
Now back to our homeschool journey. Davis and I were willing to obey, but we really didn't know what we were signing up for, not really. And I assure you that no one thought we were smart enough, strong enough, organized enough, patient enough, or anything else enough — least of all me. I can honestly say that we made our decision out of desperation, but that's a story for another day. We didn't make any long-term commitments; we just took the first step on what has become a journey of faith — our adventure of a lifetime.
Now, several steps and several years down the path of this adventure, the bottom line is still that God is good and faithful. Grace is indeed amazing, and His mercies are new every morning. These truths are no longer just words on the pages of a dusty book that occupies a shelf in our home. The Scriptures are not just idle words. No, these are truths that God, in His sovereignty, has allowed me to experience firsthand. It may sound strange, but it has been through the tests and trials of our homeschooling journey that the Bible, my faith, and my relationship with God and His Son, Jesus Christ, have come alive.
In May, our eldest (Charles) will complete his homeschool journey, but for the rest of us will continue on. Since he is the first of seven, we still have quite a few more years to go — thirteen more to be exact. So if my math is right, we are only halfway through. I hope that Charles's and his siblings' future graduations will be but a short break from homeschooling, only to return to it later as parents. It is my prayer that they will be better prepared than I for the challenges because of their own experiences and faith. I pray that they will do a better job than I have done, and I look forward to being there to support them.
You may be reading this in the midst of your first year of homeschooling. This may be a good year, a "better than last year" year, or a lousy year. It may be a "what was I thinking?" year. I have had all of those, and I bet I have some more. No matter your circumstance, I want to encourage you to persevere, stand firm, and stay the course. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" (Gal. 6:9).
Now as I sense the brevity of our remaining time with Charles, I can say that I am so glad we didn't quit when it got hard, that we didn't give into our inabilities. I'm glad that we trusted in Him who alone is able. When we didn't know or understand or see; when we were tired and frustrated and alone; when it seemed too much, overwhelming, or simply impossible, we prayed, and He answered. We prayed through many tears and sometimes through shouts, with our fists and teeth clenched. Often we waited to pray until we had exhausted all of our own resources (financial, emotional, and intellectual) before finally turning to Him in desperation.
When times were hard for Mary and Joseph (and they were), when people were critical (and they were), when Jesus got lost (and He did), when He left home (and He did), when He stood against the establishment (and He did), when there were threats on His life (and there were), when He started doing miracles (and He did), when He was arrested, when He was beaten, when He was falsely accused, when He was nailed to the cross, died, and was laid in the tomb — during all of this, Mary most likely prayed.
I wonder if her prayers included shouts mixed with cries and sobs. I wonder if she clenched her fists and teeth. Were her prayers out of desperation, doubt, and depression? Did she wonder if she had failed or that this was all a big mistake? This was not what she had signed up for. Where was the angel now? Was this what it meant to obey? Was this her reward? Maybe she had misunderstood all along.
Then Sunday dawned.
As we wait for the warm breezes that come with the spring thaw, let us renew our resolve to finish the race set before us. God in His wisdom has a unique course for each of us, for each of our families. May we seek His strength to run well, to finish strong, and to race for His glory. God is faithful and He honors our obedience to His call. Let this be the year that we embrace the difficult days as opportunities to experience Him. Let this be the year we rejoice instead of resent being misunderstood for His name. Let this be the year that we walk in the light of the Son.
"If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin" (1 John 1:7).
Praise His Name!
Rachael
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