July 15, 2009
Ready to Launch
By Rachael Carman
As of July 17, 2009, only fifty-three days remain until Davis and I take our oldest son, Charles, to Georgia where He will participate in the Impact360 gap-year program in partnership with Union University and Chick-Fil-A. It seems strange to be so aware of the date when he will leave.
Thirteen years ago I was counting down the days until the little yellow school bus would arrive at the end of our road and take Charles away for his first day of school. I was looking forward to that day—the day I thought of as my liberation.
I was so impatient for the day to arrive. I was excited to "get my life back." I still had Anderson and Savannah Anne at home, but they were more compliant and easier to handle. They wouldn't get in the way of the many projects I wanted to complete or the people I wanted to meet. I had plans for a women's Bible study, exercise, scrapbooking, decorating, and lunching with friends. Yes, this would be my year. It was all coming together, and I waited eagerly and impatiently for the first day of school.
The count-down didn't end as planned. Oh, the bus arrived, but it was not the liberating experience I thought it would be. In the end, Davis and I decided to homeschool Charles. What a radical departure from my original plan! In those days I had been known to say that homeschooling was a crazy idea. We only homeschooled then due to circumstances beyond our control and only for kindergarten. I thought at the time, surely I can't mess up kindergarten.
Neither space nor words permit me to tell all that God has faithfully and patiently taught me in the years since we started homeschooling. Charles is the child that I was so anxious to get out from under my feet. He demanded too much of me, more than I thought I had to offer. He challenged every rule. He had so much energy. Now thirteen years later, he has grown and blossomed like a fruitful vine. God has revealed to me the true blessing that he was meant to be all along.
Through the years Charles and I have fought through phonics, subtraction, and grammar. We have cried through character issues—his and mine. We have wrestled with each other and with God. We have hugged, laughed, cried, prayed, and debated. We have gotten angry, frustrated, and impatient with each other. We've apologized and forgiven each other many times. In the future, I anticipate all of those things will continue since we are so similarly wired— passionate, intentional, and driven.
And now the time has almost arrived for him to go. I am struck by how short our long time together has been. Since we count every day as a school day, the full course of our time and training together has been 4,748 days, which makes the fifty-five remaining days seem like a mere sigh.
My counting-down-the-days is dramatically different this time. Now I think about what I want Charles to take with him as he leaves home. I want there to be many moments captured in his memory to minister to him while he is away. I want him to remember laughter, smiles, and conversations. I want him to recall sausage balls and lasagna for dinner, along with our traditional Saturday morning pancakes. I want him to reminisce on our family devotional times, our singing, studies, and prayers. I want him to be able to picture us in the basement on Friday nights for family movie night. I want him to be able to reflect on the times we were all on our knees before the throne of grace on his behalf at morning worship. I want him to smile when he realizes it is Wednesday afternoon, a holy time at our house as it is nap day!
As he prepares to go, I also want him to know how I am praying for him. It is a continuation of the prayer that I have been praying for some time now. It is a mother's prayer— innocent, pure, and expectant. On September 8 we will be the ones who drive away, and in a way it will be the first day of Charles's liberation. Hmmm, that's a little ironic. I will not be able to stay with Charles, but I will pray for him. This prayer that I have prayed for him through pregnancy, infancy, toddlerhood, youth, and the teen years is still poignant and relevant.
I want to share it with you. May it bless you. This summer some of you may also be anticipating the launch of one of your blessings. May we stand firm in prayer for them as they leave the nest. May we let go gracefully and confidently, knowing that He who began a good work in their lives is faithful to complete it (see Philippians 1:6).
Lord,
I pray that Charles will be a mighty man for You,
That he will seek You alone,
Depend on You daily,
And serve You with selfless abandon.
I pray that Your will and Your ways will be his guiding light,
That he will experience Your provision and protection,
That he will rest in the peace that passes all understanding—Your perfect peace,
That he will be grateful for Your mercy and generous in his extension of Your grace to others.
I pray that Charles will know You,
That You will be real to him,
That You will be enough for Him,
That You will fill him full to over flowing.
I pray that You will use him as the Verum Proeliator, the Truth Warrior, he longs to be for Your Name.
I pray that he will be:
Obedient like Noah,
Courageous like Joshua,
A worshiper like David,
Faithful like Jeremiah,
Prayerful like Daniel,
Bold like John the Baptist,
Passionate like Peter,
Sold out like Paul, and
Visionary like John.
I pray today, like I have for his entire life, that he would be moldable and teachable in the Potter's hand as You work through the unique circumstances of his life to conform him into the likeness of Your Son, Jesus Christ. I pray that he would be all that You have planned for him to be before the dawn of creation for the praise and glory of Your name.
In Jesus name, Amen.
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