He is Faithful

Planning

I am a planner. I had a plan. It was not like we didn’t know what we wanted to do. We bought a house in the “best” school district so our son could attend the “best” school. We paid more than we wanted as a sacrifice for his education because we thought we were doing what was best for him.

The long and short of our decision to homeschool is that God had a radically different plan from ours. He interrupted our plan and interjected His. He brought about circumstances that we couldn’t have anticipated. Suddenly, with our backs against the wall and no other choices, we took our son out of the system and brought him home.

When we started, all I really wanted was to survive. All I could imagine was frustration, boredom, and discouragement. When we first brought Charles home against our will, we simply adjusted our plan. We told others and ourselves, “It’s only for kindergarten.” I told myself, “Surely, I can’t mess up kindergarten.”

But God planned to bless our family in ways we couldn’t imagine. He knew what Charles needed and knew that Charles’ needs could be best met at home. While we had planned to be involved in the PTA, God had planned for us to grow as a family.

At the beginning of our journey, I dreamed too small, simply hoping my kids could read. But as we continued, He granted me bigger and greater dreams. He began to show me His plan and the relationships He wanted us to prioritize before academics. Slowly, He directed our steps and brought about His plans in our lives.

Preparation

My degree is in secondary education history and English. That’s right; I’m a trained professional educator. Now, most people’s response to that is, “No wonder you homeschooled; you’re qualified.” However, I have found my degree to be more of a hindrance. I was taught to aim for the middle of the bell curve and hope for the end. As a homeschooling mom, I got to individualize each child’s education.

So, I didn’t find my training as helpful as I did my passion for teaching. I loved the classroom. When I taught in the system, I loved it. I loved helping the students, discussing the information, and seeing them grow. In fact, as a young mother, I was already looking forward to returning to the classroom.

The irony isn’t lost on me. God used my love of teaching and longing to return to the classroom to draw my heart toward my own children. As I was dreaming about returning to teach in the system, God was preparing my heart to teach my own children.

Retrospectively, God had great things prepared for us, as His word says in Ephesians 2:10,

For we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do.

God had prepared in advance for us to homeschool our children. He had a plan and had made preparations for us to do so.

As we continued to homeschool, one day at a time, simply walking by faith, I could see how He had prepared my heart to teach my children. I could see how He was knitting our hearts together and growing our relationships with each other and Himself.

Provision

All along the way, God met our every need. He did not do it in lavish or extravagant ways but always provided what we needed. We continued to be dependent on Him for direction and wisdom.

For example, we thought we had purchased the house we did so that our children could attend the best school in the district. When we began homeschooling, it seemed that we had made a mistake. But God knew what He was doing. He provided an extra room over the garage for our “school” room. We didn’t know we needed it, but there it was.

God provided support groups and mentors to help us navigate the journey. We didn’t know what we needed, but He did. He blessed us through a growing community. We attended conferences and workshops where God provided encouragement through speakers who pointed us back to Him. Over and over, we were reminded to focus on Him and Him alone.

I am grateful that God doesn’t show us His whole plan. I know that I couldn’t have handled the whole plan initially. I am grateful that He slowly revealed it to us. He has continued to give us opportunities to grow and trust Him. He has never failed and has provided us with everything we have needed every step along the way.

Perseverance

In the early days, I thought I would reach a point in this journey where I would figure it all out. I still have the huge spreadsheets I originally made that show my detailed plans. It’s funny how, along the way, I would occasionally slip back into my plan, even in the middle of His perfect plan.

I kept thinking that if I could just figure it out, then I could just hit cruise control, allowing me to sit back and relax. I thought that would be ideal. No more having to walk by faith. Instead, I could work the formula. I liked the sound of that; it sounded easy. But that isn’t God’s will. He wants to continue to grow us and our faith. He doesn’t want us to stagnate but soar! He is our Father and is constantly providing opportunities for us to develop a deeper relationship with Him. He knows that in order to do so, we must be challenged.

There have been hundreds of times I have wanted to quit homeschooling. There have been days when I wanted to just run from our house and scream, “I give up! This is too hard!” Those are usually days when I have tried to do it without Him. Those were the days when I wanted to do what I wanted to do, when I was inflexible, selfish, and not focused on Him.

Prayer and perseverance are the keys. Praying constantly throughout the day, not just a few moments in the morning, but an ongoing prayer that permeates each moment. Praying continually grants peace, strength, and wisdom for each step. It allows for the needed pause and grants some kindness, gentleness, and grace.

Perseverance means taking the next step in the footprints of Christ. It means remembering that He goes before, walks alongside, and comes behind us. Persevering means that we keep on when we don’t know how, trust that He knows the future, and allow Him to fight on our behalf. It means that we rely on Him for the results.

One of my favorite verses, which has encouraged me on this journey, is the admonition in Galatians 6:9,

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

It is so easy to grow weary and allow the cares of the world—the exhaustion, the business, the demands, and the judgments—to wear us down. The old hymn, On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand, is the perfect reminder:

“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. On Christ the solid Rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand.”