Is Education Possible Without a Hug?
Some people were even bringing infants to Him so He might touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. –Luke 18:15
I’m a firm believer that building relationships with your children should be a top priority for homeschooling parents. You’re already spending more time together than most families, so why not take advantage of this opportunity to realize your relationships’ full potential? I recommend that you intentionally invest in relationships and put effort into first knowing and loving God, then knowing and loving family and neighbor.
My question for you is this: Should hugs, kisses, and appropriate physical touch be part of a relationship-building plan? I think the obvious answer is “Absolutely!” It only makes sense to relate to our loved ones by giving them a loving, nurturing hug every once in a while—maybe even multiple times a day!
But why am I asking about physical touch and how it relates to home education and relationships?
No-Touch Policy in School
Did you know that in most public and private schools, it’s not permissible for teachers to touch their students? I was talking with a traditional schoolteacher recently who loves her young pupils. She knows about many of their difficult situations, such as divorce, relocation, or struggles with a particular school subject. She’s seen tears well up in her little students’ eyes when they’ve opened up to her about their lives. She has tried to console her students, but often feels that what they really need is a good old hug. She told me how difficult it is to be authentic and accessible to a hurting child when the no-touch policy communicates a clear distance.
A relationship is stunted without touch. This might take the form of a handshake, a pat on the back, a hug, or a kiss. But you simply cannot grow a relationship if you can’t touch one another in some kind of appropriate manner.
Scientific Data on Hugs
There’s an article that reports that humans need four hugs a day to survive, eight to maintain, and twelve to grow. In other words, touch is the mother of all senses. Touch is crucial for early childhood development and in our personal relationships. For adults, the absence of non-sexual touch (often called “skin hunger” by psychologists) can have negative effects. Touch deprivation often leads to an increase in loneliness that so often culminates in anxiety or depression. Regular and appropriate touch is vital to our long-term overall physical, social, and emotional health.
According to the same article, these are all fantastic reasons to seek out more physical touch in your life — and in today’s technology-driven and screen-centered world, doing so is more important than ever. It’s a powerful, instinctive way we stay connected as human beings. God designed us for touch; it soothes us, grounds us, and affirms that we belong. A simple hug or a gentle hand on the shoulder can calm our nervous systems and remind us that we’re not alone.
Physical Touch in Education
So, is education possible without a hug? If a teacher views their students as mere buckets to fill with information, then a no-touch policy could possibly make sense. The problem is that every student is a human, made in the image of God, with real feelings, and a legitimate need to be known. Teachers and students need cultivated relationships with established trust. And the best ones include handshakes, pats on the back, arms around the shoulders, fist-bumps, high-fives, and hugs.
If things have gotten so bad at public and private schools that administrations have had to implement a no-touch policy, then the only thing left to do is treat the students like buckets to be filled. The result will be children who repeat the common refrain, “I hate school.” That’s why I would argue that education is not possible without a regular dose of hugs.
Homeschooling & Hugs
As a homeschooling parent, you have a distinct advantage. You can hug your students — make that…your children. And you should. Often!
When we engage with others via touch, we feel more whole, more seen, more alive. In the end, it’s not the lessons we teach, but the trust we build and the love we share — heart-to-heart, eye-to-eye, hand-to-hand — that fills our lives with meaning.
Here’s today’s assignment. It’s pretty simple. Go look your child in the eye, give them a hug, read a book together, and keep working on that relationship that will last a lifetime.
