Uniforms vs. Individuality: Honoring God’s Design in Each Child
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
A Utopia of Uniformity
You’ve probably seen futuristic movies like The Giver where uniformity is highly valued in society. In the movie, everyone wears matching uniforms, rides the same style of bicycle, lives in identical houses, and thinks the same way.
Some people would say this is a kind of utopia and should be desired in our communities and learning institutions. For example, school uniforms may sound like a good idea because they can reduce distractions by minimizing the differences between socio-economic classes. But is this really the ideal or just a solution to a problem of the system’s own making? What about all the talk of diversity? If diversity is an important goal, shouldn’t we actually make the most of our differences?
In any mass-production assembly line, uniformity is necessary. After all, the final product will be tested against quality standards. And in order to pass, all the parts must be nearly identical. Anything out of spec will be identified as defective and trashed. Do we really want a world where everyone wears the same clothes, rides the same bikes, lives in the same houses, and thinks the same way? I don’t.
Made Uniquely in the Image of God
Children aren’t parts to be assembled and spit out in a cookie-cutter fashion. They are human beings, made in the image of God and created to do good works that God prepared in advance for them to do (Ephesians 2:10). Not every person will be called to do the same work. It’s obvious that not everyone has the same personality. God even built natural diversity into our appearances with a wide range of skin, eye, and hair colors. People come in all shapes, sizes, weights and heights. And don’t forget the obvious differences between male and female.
Let’s face it: People are different. Relationship building is hard and sometimes inefficient work, but it has the potential to result in the most satisfying bonds with loved ones. I believe that one of the worst things for us is an insistence on uniformity.
Customized Education for Unique Individuals
I say embrace the differences in life, especially with your children. Be inefficient but highly customized. Give each of your children a truly individualized education. Your kids look different, sound, act and learn differently. See the inherent value in this variety and point each of them to Christ, the One who has unique plans for them to fulfill. Prepare them to listen carefully for His call. He’s already planned out their futures, and He wants them to be His instruments of righteousness.
When it comes to the academics, let me prepare you with a warning that your kids will probably not all go the same direction. For example, I am an engineer who loves all things science and math. With seven children, I was sure I’d raise several techies and math whizzes. It turns out that my oldest is a philosopher and linguist, my second is an artist, my third is a private Christian school’s spiritual director, my fourth and fifth are stay-at-home-moms, number six is in graduate school (majoring in math — Yay!), and number seven is a college athlete majoring in psychology. That’s a wide range of career paths! My point is this: Don’t try to turn your kids into what you want them to be. Don’t live vicariously through them. Point them to God. Teach them to listen to His voice. He will lead them gently and eventually make it clear to them the direction they should go. And it is highly likely that no two of your children will walk the same path.
Conclusion
Once upon a time, I might have thought it would be cool to raise seven engineers or mathematicians. But my kids aren’t me, and they certainly aren’t identical to each other. As our children have grown up, I see a variety of talent blossoming into a diversity of callings, and our family is all the richer and closer for it.
